Singles Online | Web Dating

Pimps and players swear by it
Is there such a thing as a “look of love”?  I guess the the modern term would be the look of attraction or the “sex look”.  This would be the look somebody gives you if they are interested in you on a romantic or sexual level.  Many self-professed “pimps”, “players”, “hustlers”, and “ladiesmen” claim that this look exists and it is the ’secret’ to their sexual success.  Far be it for us to discount these guys’ expert opinions but drescribing the look in such ’secret’ terms makes looking for the “look” no different from hunting a unicorn.  In our opinion there is no mystical or magical look–it is in fact a natural part of any person’s body language which signals their interest in a person.  There’s no magic to it.  There’s no mystery.  The “look” is part of any person’s unique body language which they use in their daily lives.  The mystery of “the look” is in figuring it out since it varies from person to person.  I am convinced that there are some common features of the note that people give out when they are attracted to someone.

Separating magic from reality

A little bit of background on the look of love.  A lot of the romantic notions of this phenomenon can be traced back to the Middle Ages.  You don’t have to read Joseph Campbell’s books on mythology to realize that a lot of our concepts of romantic love and personal romance dates from the Middle Ages.  That era is also the source of many mystical notions of attraction and emotions.  During this period, courtiers and troubadours and roaming poets would talk about and recite poetry about the mystery of love and romance.  I think that they just mystified a fairly common and real phenomenon to fit the language of their times.  They framed the concept of attraction in terms that people of  the Middle Ages thought about love and relationships.  This mystification doesn’t take away from the power and the reality of the look.  The same process also applied to the concept of romantic love in 1800s–the heavy focus on personal love and personal attraction in romantic terms.  If you dig through all the labels and historcial packaging, there is this reality of that certain look of attraction that people give each other.  Nowadays, sentimental concepts of romanticism come off as cheesy and outdated.  In our less than sentimental and slightly more cynical times, the look of love has been repackaged as the “hook up” look of sexual receptivity.  It’s more about trying to spot that person who will “give it up” quickly.  Regardless of your motives or objective, the look exists and the only question is how to spot it.

How to spot the “look”

There are many myths regarding the look of attraction.  One of most prevalent myths is that it’s the same for all people, for all places, and for all time.  This is not the case.  Every person is different.  Each person’s vocabulary of emotional expression/body language differs.  This applies to the look of attraction, the same way it applies to any other personal expression.  Believing in one universal look of attraction is one sure way to fail at finding the look. The trick is to open your mind and be receptive to develop and recognize when you see it.  Here are some tips:

Awkward looks

One somewhat common aspect of “the look” is that it is often awkward.  It is not a normal look somebody gives you when they are feeling comfortable, secure, and “composed”.  The look is given during moments of emotional vulnerability or receptability.  It is a moment of honesty, and most honest moments are awkward, unplanned, unscripted.  If you are looking for Hollywood type, static and practiced expressions, you’re probably going to be disappointed.  Instead focus on detecting something that is out of the ordinary.  Something that is out of the normal range of composure.  Everybody possesses this concept of composure and dignity.  The look is an awkward break for them.  Some common patterns of awkward looks are: looking at another person while they are turning their head, pretending to scratch their face, turning their head to look while pretending to pick something up from the floor, or some other type of action meant to hide the awkward moment of looking.  Recognize these breaks in composure.  However, awkwardness is just one part of the formula of the look.  There are other components.

Repeated looks

Besides awkwardness, the person has to look repeatedly.  The person obviously cannot look at you enough–the attraction is that strong.  So the action must be repeated.  It is easy to meet misunderstand an awkward action if it only happens once.  But if the person keeps repeating the same look repeatedly then the chances of genuine attraction increases.  Look for patterns in the repetition of the look.  Are they doing the same thing when they keep looking, or are they doing different things?  What other facial signals do you see?

Look with a smile

When judging a person’s look, you have to determine whether it is made from pure awkwardness and a sense of embarrassment or if there is an accompanying smile.  Normally, both have to be present to correctly identify the look of real attraction.  A smile can take the form of a shy smile or a slightly embarrassed smile (when they realize you noticed them look at you).  But the smile must be matched with eye contact.  If it isn’t and the person quickly looks away, then the look might not be of attraction.  Turning away communicates embarassment of the fact that they realized you noticed them lookinig at you.  Very, very different context from genuine attraction.

How to attract The Look

Now that you have some general idea on what to look for, here are some tips on how to attract the look from others.  These tips can apply to anything you do to attract positive attention to yourself.  However, they are geared towards attracting romanting partners:

Be confident

The number one rule in attracting positive attraction from the opposite sex is to be confident.  Whether you’re a man or a woman, young or old, everyone, regardless of their age, sex, or orientation, looks more attractive when they are confident.  Confidence attracts attention precisely because it is is relatively rare.  Most people aren’t very visibly confident and this shrinks the pool competition for attraction and makes confident people stand out.  What do people look at when judging your confidence level?  Your posture, the way you walk, the way you talk, and the clothes you wear.  A straight but not rigid posture means somebody who is self-assured.  Enhance your posture by putting your hands on your waist when you talk.  This signals control and mastery.  Walk confidently by walking straight and with a straight posture. A little swagger is okay.  Just don’t overdo it.  Cockiness is a turnoff.  Moreover, clean, distinctive clothes signal to the viewer that you are a confident individual.

Eye content and blinking

When you spot someone giving you The Look, slowly turn to look at them.  Return the look.  Try to MIRROR the look they are giving you.  Look directly but remember to blink.  Linking signifies genuineness.  Your direct look indicates that you are also interested but the blink communicates a little bit of vulnerability.  It is your acknowledgement that you are “caught in the moment”.  Never look down on the person looking at you by tilting your head up.  This will scare them.  Always remember to smile back at them.  Try to mirror the smile that they give you.  If they give you a shy smile, smile back a little bit more confidently but lean towards the shy side.  If they give you repeated smiles and looks with a slightly embarrased tinge, mimic this as well.  Since you’re trying to figure out if they are giving you the look of attraction tou cannot come off as too eager.  So make sure to mimic their body language.  Once you are sure that this The Look then you can proceed to talk to the person.

Remember, contrary to all of the laws of attraction and other attraction success fads that are currently all the rage on the Internet, there is no magic bullet to attracting the right person.  All of these methods of identifying the look or taking proactive steps to attract the look, require action on your part.  Nobody is going to figure out how good of a person you are and or how desirable person you are if you just sit at home and eat Doritos and watch Friends reruns.  Just as successful people make their own luck, yoour actions and your willpower allows you to make opportunities happen for others to give you the Look.  Looks are not enough, you have to act on it.  There’s no PASSIVE law of attraction in dating, you have to act.

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One of the most difficult things you might probably encounter when going on a date is having to resolve the issue on who gets to the pay the bill. Some people think that it is customary for a man to pay for the date. However, today’s modern women might disagree with this. They may get offended if a man insists on paying the bill simply because it’s the rule. This would make them feel they’re being patronized too much. Others do take it as some sort of an insult simply because they don’t want to be seen as helpless or someone who can’t afford to pay their own way. However, there are also women who would think it would be ungentlemanly if the man lets them pay the bill. Sometimes, the best thing to do is to split the bill down the middle. Here’s a guide to help you out:

When to insist on paying the bill

You may insist on paying the bill if you are the one who asked someone out. This will not offend your date because it is just normal that the one who asked out will shoulder the expenses. Another instance when you get to pay the bill is when your date is celebrating some occasion, say, a promotion or a birthday celebration. Taking care of the bill for this special occasion would be seen as a gift or taken as a token of congratulations or appreciation.

How to tell your date that you get to pay the bill

If your date insists that he or she would want to split the bill, just tell him or her that for this special occasion, you would be the one to take care of everything. Make your date feel that there’s really a good reason why you’re going to pay for the dinner or the date. In case your date wants to know the cost of your dinner, just tell your date –This one’s on me, honey! You have to make sure that you say it smoothly and with great charm so your date would not misinterpret your actions.

It is important that you know how to approach your date regarding the issue on bills. Knowing how to act to resolve the money issues would give your date a positive impression about you, sparing him or her the embarrassment and any negative impression.

Related questions:

1. How about when it comes to group dating? Who gets to pay the bill?
2. What will you do if your money is short to pay the bill?
3. In a blind date, who gets to pay the bill?
4. For a movie date, who is the one to pay for the tickets?
5. Is it okay to let the woman pay the bill for the third date?

Related posts:

Extreme Dating – On why women go on extreme dating
On who’ll Pay the Bill – On who will pay the bill on a date
Dating Mistakes – About the dating mistakes you should avoid

You’ve seen this happen before.  She walks down the corridor, flipping her hair, which falls softly around her shoulders. She throws back her head, and her laughter sounded like chimes to you.  You walk up to her, and her floral scent fills the air. She looks at you looking sheepishly back at her, mouth agape around a soundless “hello.”  And just when you think you’ve seen the worst, you begin to wet your pants.  It’s a bad dream.  It’s déjà vu.  It’s you each time you attempt to ask someone out.

It’s a rite of passage, yes, but asking someone out shouldn’t have you bleeding.  It’s not that easy, but in life and love, you really have to take risks.  Here’s a few how-to tips that should help you get a “yes” from the girl of your dreams, or at least give you enough courage to ask.

Before asking someone out…

*  Check your motives.  If you know exactly what you want, it’ll give you more focus especially in trying to come up with the right words to say.

*  Be prepared for her answer. Hope for the best, but always prepare for the worst. A “no” is a bitter pill to swallow but swallow it in style. She might even realize what she’s missing.

*  Be ready with the details. For girls, dressing appropriately for a date is crucial, so she would surely ask about the venue and activities if she says “yes.”

*  Don’t do something crazy, like downing a couple of beers to get a confidence boost. True, alcohol lets people say the things they can’t say when they’re sober, but that includes stupid things, too.

How-to tips for getting a second date

Don’t border on the extremes, like being too casual or aggressive.  Highlight your best qualities not by showing off. If you’re clueless, ask your trusted friends why they like hanging out with you.  If it’s your positive outlook in life, let that show.  Don’t be afraid to present yourself the way you are.  Girls don’t want you trying too hard to please them by creating a false image that you can’t live up to.  It’s either they’ll like you or they won’t.  If you don’t get a second date, don’t be so hard on yourself.  Sometimes, even if you’re the coolest guy on the planet, the chemistry just happens to be on another galaxy.

Photo Credit : ncfc0721

Don’t blame it on fairy tales.  Don’t blame it on Disney.  Romance and searching for The One seems to be women’s default mode.  So you’ve looked for love before and had your share of near misses and heartbreaks.  Should you stop? No.  Unless you’re 100% certain that you’d be happier growing old by yourself—and you know you’d be lying—you don’t let go until you run out of places to look.  Why not try online dating? After all, millions of singles are on it, so online dating experiences can’t be that bad.  Why should they have all the fun?

Trying online dating, and seeing for yourself

The probability of success in online dating is high, because you have both quality and quantity on your side.  In just the same amount of time that you’d normally spend on a dinner date, you can browse through hundred of profiles which have been pre-selected based on your preferences.  That’s just the appetizer!  Virtually flirt with a kilt- wearing, bagpipe playing Scott if you must.  Whether your taste in men leans toward Athens, Greece or Athens, Georgia, you’ll never run out of choices in online dating.  Aside from this, you get a sneak preview of a potential date, because profiles come with
photos.  And if you’re the shy type, who would normally blush and trip over your tongue at even the slightest male attention, online dating might be more your thing.

How to have successful online dating experiences

Online dating should be a fun experience, so don’t be so stressed out about finding Mr.  Right.  Be upbeat, not uptight.  The more relaxed you are, the better your chances of meeting someone who will see, like, and eventually love the real you.  Putting your best foot forward is expected, but you don’t have to lie to get it done.  There’s no point in presenting a romanticized version of yourself that you won’t be able to live up to anyway.

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Some people still express surprise upon realizing that romance is so prevalent on the Internet.  But then again, it should make perfect sense, because there are millions of people who own computers and spend countless hours on the Internet.  That’s the online dating advantage. Nowadays, pretty much everything happens online:  we bank and transact business through the Internet, watch movies, read the news.… so what should make dating any different?

Online dating services are among the few businesses that survived—if not thrived—even when the recession hit.  After all, more and more singles are becoming lonely and looking for more cost-effective means of finding someone that they can have a long-term relationship with.  For the single woman, online dating could be the new bridal toss.

Online dating benefits

When you subscribe to an online dating site, you have unlimited choices due to the large population of singles signing up for the service.  You also get to browse hundreds of profiles that have been singled out according to your preferences.  Aside from that, you can have anonymity, privacy, and security.  You don’t have to reveal personal information right away.  Again, the key is CHOICE.  You get to choose who sees your profile and what kind of exposure feels right for you.  You also choose when to give what information.  All you need to do is write a catchy profile that presents the kind of person that you are.  You’d be asked for a username and an upload of a recent photo of yourself, so put your best face forward.

Why you should try online dating

You’re single and looking.  If you haven’t had much success in the real world, why not give Internet dating a try?  There are several reasons why singles try online dating.  Time and budget are among the factors considered.  Add these online dating benefits to the fun and exciting experience, and you get the whole equation.  Who knows?  You might just find your soulmate online.

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Your online dating experience should be a memorable one, and not for a bad experience.  Unfortunately, no technology is intelligent enough to filter out the con artists, perverts, and psychos who do exist.  Although there’s just as many of them in the regular dating scene, it’s the illusion of anonymity that the Internet offers is the main reason why these individuals thrive online.  Now, you’re just a nice, single woman who’s hoping to find Mr. Right in cyberspace.  What can you do to keep yourself from being the poor victim of these Internet predators?  Actually, you already have what it takes to rotect
yourself: common sense, discernment, and a little help from these reminders.

One online dating danger is enough risk

Identity thefts are becoming more prevalent online.  The bad guys take every bit of personal information they can get and pretend to be you in online transactions.  There are also the stalkers who can have you looking behind your shoulder even as you walk in broad daylight.  As if these aren’t scary enough, there’s that danger of meeting the person you think could be your soul mate and then finding yourself naked and alone in some sleazy hotel with no recollection of what happened.

Online dating precautions you should take

Instead of scaring yourself into becoming a nervous wreck, take control of your safety.  Never give your personal information after one or two exchanges, no matter how nice and chivalrous your date seems.  As much as possible, keep your online dating communication on a blind e-mail address.  This is an e-mail address that you create simply for Internet dating, something which—even if hacked—won’t give anyone all the details about your personal life.  Don’t give your home address, phone number, and the name of the company where you work.  Wait until your date has shown himself worthy of your trust before you arrange a real meeting.  Even if he does, make sure you meet him in public and during daytime.  In a nutshell, don’t rush into a relationship.

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If a man happens to be single beyond the Big Three O, people would say that he’s career- driven and they’d call him an eligible bachelor.  If it were a woman, they’d shake their heads and call her a spinster.  Do you get that a lot?  It’s not as if you’d make a bad girlfriend.  It’s not that you’re too picky with men.  You just took your time, that’s all.  It just so happened that you took so long, and now, you’re running against time.  Unfortunately, women have some sort of shelf period, especially if you want to have kids.  You may have looked for love in the wrong places.  Why not try online dating? Millions of singles date online, and there’s always room for the 30-something woman.

Why try online dating

Online dating is simply the new singles bar! With just a few clicks here and there, you’d have dibs on the affections of men from all over the country and around the world.  The last thing you can say is “so many men, so little time,” because you can choose hundreds of husband material even while you’re microwaving dinner.  And a monthly subscription can cost way less than a girls’ night-out.  You’ll feel bolder and more fabulous as you receive messages from men, which should be good for your self-esteem.  Who knows? You might even find a younger man who’s into sophisticated, older women.

Being single and 30-something

You know the drill.  Just like in the real dating scene, you might come across a jerk or two.  So, protect yourself by keeping your personal information confidential until you’re certain that you can trust your online date.  Don’t lie.  There’s nothing to hide—definitely not your age.  On a last note, there’s no need to rush once you’re there.  The last thing you’d want is someone taking advantage of you because you seem, well, uh, desperate.  Even if you really are desperate, don’t show it.  Relax, and just be spontaneous.  After all, there’s no point in finding a husband when the rush has you ending up with a loser.

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Perhaps you’ve wanted to try online dating at some point, but its bad rep got you worried—if it didn’t totally turn you off.  Sure, online dating got off on the wrong foot a couple of years ago.  Dating sites used to be flooded with con artists, geeks, jerks, perverts, and psychos.  Today, it’s an entirely different story.  More and more singles date online, and you don’t have to be a gold digger or a weirdo to be one of them.  A variety of girls date online, because it allows them to get in touch with so many men in so little time.

Why singles date online

The Internet is a playground for children of all ages, body types, skin color, and religion.  Mostly, singles flock to online dating sites because these offer equal opportunity for them to find that special person.  For instance, you don’t need to look like the winner in the gene pool lottery to go out on a date.  In addition, online dating lets you make efficient use of your time and money.  For a price that’s cheaper than one dinner date, you can virtually flirt with bronzed Brazilian men (or maybe cute yuppies in a neighboring city) with a bonus—there’s no going Dutch! You can browse through hundreds of profiles, which have been singled out according to your preferences, for less than the time you spend on a movie date—and that’s just talking about standing in line for the popcorn.  But above all, online dating works, especially if you know exactly what kind of relationship you’re looking for.

Nice girls date online, too

It can be true that some people would react to your dating online as if you just told them you’d bought a boyfriend off the Yellow Pages.  Still, that shouldn’t stop you from giving cyberlove a try.  If you check out dating site testimonials, don’t be surprised that one of the women gushing about the service is a pre-school teacher (Okay, maybe if she were your pre-school teacher you’re allowed to be a bit surprised.).  After all, men would eventually want a nice girl to bring home to mother, so why should bad girls have all the fun?

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It’s the same old story.  Boy meets girl.  Girl thinks he’s The One and starts thinking up names for their would-be kids.  But long before she gets to their nicknames, boy meets another girl and—RIP!—another chapter is torn off the fairy tale.  Does this sound like your story?  Except that your guy met another guy?  Or maybe your prince is turning into a frog?  Whatever it is, you’re just about ready to give up on dating and love.  Before you do, consider all the uncharted kingdoms and the princes that you haven’t met yet.  They’re all out there, and with the Internet, not one of them can be far beyond your reach.  The key to finding and keeping Mr. Right is at your fingertips.

How to find Mr. Right

Finding Mr. Right can be frustrating sometimes, but that’s not an excuse to settle for Mr. Right Now.  Online dating gives you endless possibilities! There are the nice but shy guys in your area who aren’t in your social circle—but who definitely show boyfriend potential.   If you have a taste for the exotic, there’s that poetry spouting Italian and the Greek god in Athens who are both just a virtual flirt away.  Even if you know how to find Mr. Right, the thing about online dating is that more often, Mr. Right finds you.

It all begins with choosing an online dating site that’s right for you.  You may go for dating sites based on shared interests or those that cater only to people of the same faith.  Write a profile that’s catchy but presents who you are in a nutshell.  Upload a recent photo that puts your best face forward.  Browse through men’s profiles and start an exchange with someone you’re interested in.  Respond graciously with those who contact you, even if it’s not love at first sight—you never know what’s in store.

Keeping Mr. Right

Set realistic expectations, and once you find someone who fits your idea of the right guy, don’t go on a nitpicking spree.  Just keep a list of valid deal breakers, such as lying and use of abusive language.  Show appreciation whenever he does something nice for you, but be sincere with your compliments.  Don’t lie.  A lot of online daters say they’ve been lied to, so make a difference.

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Online dating can be quite an experience.  If you’re ready to give it a try, the first thing you should do is to find a dating site which can cater to your needs best.  The Internet is overflowing with online dating services ready to give your love life its much needed boost.  You’ll find unlimited dating site choices!  They say that before you find The One, you would have to go through The One Hundred Near Misses.  Unlike going to a singles bar, online dating gives you more efficient means of singling out a potential partner for a long-term relationship. The key to online dating success and finding the right person starts with choosing the right site for you.  Here’s how:

Dating site choices with “you” in mind

Mostly,  there are “singles only” sites , but recently, there are dating  services specializing in matchmaking the widowed and the divorced.  In addition, web dating sites may also be classified according to interests as well as religious and sexual orientations.  From time to time, you’ll come across dating sites for gays and lesbians, for singles interested in interracial marriage, and even for pure vegans, as well as those for lovelorn Christians and Jewish!  All of these come with your personal preferences in mind, so that you’ll have the best dating experience that you deserve.  Choose the one that best serves your needs.

Finding a dating site that’s right for you

Come up with your own list of factors to consider, such as budget, features, and safety.  There are plenty of free dating sites, but the danger is that you don’t really know who’s out there.  That’s like an open bar for con artists and perverts—after all, what do they have to lose?  Paid dating sites usually give potential subscribers a free test drive, so check them out and see if the experience is worth the money you can shell out each month.  Read the safety and privacy policies .  Does the dating service validate the  information written in the profiles?  Who gets to see your full profile?  If you feel safe about the answers to these, then it could be your fairy godmother that’ll help you have your “happily ever after.”

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