Singles Online | Web Dating

It’s all too familiar now.  Your well-meaning friends talk you into joining them for dinner and voila! A single guy they know from work happens to walk into the restaurant, alone, and your friends say, “You wouldn’t mind if he joined our table, would you?” Of course, your friends would then have “emergencies” before the first course is even served.  You should know that you have sweet, lovely friends.  It’s just that with blind dates, you’re more likely to have misses than be Mrs.

Dishing out on blind dating

If you’ve been single for long, your “condition” is likely to concern some family members and friends—especially the married ones.  They make it their personal mission to lead love right to your doorstep, and if you take too long, they’d be banging on the door.  Their thoughts on blind dating would be that they know enough about you and your would-be date to play matchmakers.  Unfortunately, no matter how noble their motives are, it’s your heart and your idea of what makes a relationship work that matter.  For instance, your family or friends may think that you’d like their vet, because he’s cute and volunteers at a shelter like you do at soup kitchens.  What they don’t know is that you want someone who’ll see you as an independent woman who doesn’t need doting on like a lovesick puppy.

The difference between blind dating and online dating

Online dating is your call.  You get to choose which guy you’d want to go out with before you actually meet him.  Perhaps, the major difference between blind dating and online dating is that with the latter, you know enough about your online date to make you want to go on a real date with him.  Also, dating someone online means that you’re already considering him as a candidate for a potential long-term relationship, and it’s not just that other people think you should get to know him.

Unless you’re lazy and indecisive—or just plain lucky, blind dating might work for you.  Just keep in mind that a checklist of similarities and a set of mutual friends aren’t enough to make a relationship work.

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If you’ve been looking for love in the wrong places, you need to know that the Internet is the new singles bar.  Online dating can be your new best friend if you know how to tap the right keys.  Sure, you can put your best face forward by uploading that soft-focus photo, but you can’t run on the charm of those shiny locks for very long.  It’s your profile—the rundown of your strengths and interests—that makes or breaks your online dating experience.  Writing a profile that works doesn’t need Tolkien’s literary acumen and Anne Rice’s eroticism.  What you need is this online dating guide for women that teaches you the secrets to catchy profiles.

Making this online dating guide for women work for you

First things first.  Do a reality check and focus on your goal.  Are you signing up for online dating services to look for a potential long-term relationship or you just want to give your social life a boost? Run an inventory of your assets and liabilities.  What do you like about yourself? What’s it about you that you like the least? It’s important to look within yourself first before you can single out what you like or don’t like about men.  Recall what made you call it quits with your ex (if you had one, or maybe more), and set that as your deal-breaker.  If you fought a lot over your differences in faith, then mention that you’re looking for someone with a similar religious orientation.  Consider what you’re willing to compromise.  For example, you’re a bookworm, and a potential date thinks Paulo Coelho is a tequila brand; will that change the fact that you have similar values?

Writing a profile that rocks

“Catchy” doesn’t translate to “misleading.” Create a profile that showcases your personal best, but never overdo it.  Otherwise, your profile would appear like a CV.  So unless you’re hoping to run into your boss on the same site, it won’t do you any good.  Keep it short, sweet, and upbeat.  Use puns or make allusions to your interests, so you can filter which guys share them–or understand your brand of humor at least.  For instance, if you’re a Neil Gaiman fan who loves to travel, you may write, “I’m a woman with
wanderlust.  I’ll be your Door, and together, we can mind the gap.”

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Competition can be really tough when looking for Mr.  Right through the Internet.  Subtract the scumbags and players from the male population, and you’re left with an even smaller number of potential partners.  You’re just a nice girl trying to find a nice guy, how hard can it be? I hate to say this, but VERY— especially when you have a habit of committing certain blunders that kill online relationships.  Ever wonder why online dating do’s and don’ts have more “don’ts” than “do’s”? That’s because common mistakes that women make can get Cupid flying out the window.

Common mistakes that make men bolt

The devil is in the details.  Let’s face it.  Women like to talk, but save the gabfest for your girlfriends.  It’s good to tell him about your interests, such as your love for cooking.  Just don’t rattle on about the right way to chop onions, and did he know about this amazing brand of fillet knife? Trust me, he’ll say that your talk got him famished and that he won’t be back until he’s eaten—a lifetime’s worth of meals.  Telling men all the gory details isn’t just boring; it kills the mystery, too.  Also, spinning lies to appear more interesting is a no-no.  Men are people, too, and they don’t deserve to be lied to, just like you.  Besides, would you risk having a date walk out on you once he sees that your idea of looking like Sarah Jessica Parker is having a horse-y face? Another major blunder is to be too psyched about him.  Going gung-ho at the start of an online relationship can scare guys off.  Send him three love notes every day, and he’ll think you’re obsessed and desperate.  However, playing coy and hard-to-get can make him balk, too.

Online dating do’s and don’ts—but “don’ts” mostly

Don’t be an open book—not only for dating success but for personal safety.   Don’t lie and then expect to find Mr.  Right.  Relationships should be based on trust.  Do like yourself first and exude confidence.  It’ll never work unless your date likes you for who you are.  Don’t border on the extremes.  Never be too enthusiastic or play hard-to-get if you want to keep him interested.  Lastly, don’t make the same online dating mistakes that other women make, and let love find you.

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In both offline and online relationships, it seems so much easier to commit blunders than to get things right.  It’s no wonder that you’ll see more “don’ts” in dating do’s and don’ts that you find over the Internet.  If you want to have a successful online dating experience, avoid errors that lead not only to strained communication, but to heartache as well.  While projecting a certain image may do wonders for you in your career, being someone other than the real “you” is a top dating no-no.

Identifying the three most common mistakes

The first blunder is to mistake confidence for cockiness.  Exuding self-assurance is sexy, but not if you behave like you’re God’s gift to women.  While playing it cool can sometimes make you appear too casual and aloof, it’s an even bigger turnoff to be too aggressive.  Your date might think that you’re a pervert who’s just making a booty call.  Don’t rush her into swapping personal information and meeting up right away.  You don’t want her to think that you’re a psycho or a stalker or both.  Second, setting high expectations is guaranteed to result in disappointment.  Expecting anyone to be perfect will have you ending up with a long list of user IDs with zero success.  Third, lying your way into a relationship just won’t work.  Not only is it impossible for a relationship to run on deceit, women won’t even give you that chance to be in a relationship.  You know what they say, “Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me.”

How to avoid errors in online dating

Don’t go to the extremes in an attempt to play safe.  Put your best face forward and thank her if she thinks your profile photo is very Josh Hartnett (and make sure it’s not Josh Hartnett’s!), but don’t make her feel as if she just won the online dating lottery.  Don’t host a pity party either, saying that you can’t get being the high school fatso out of your skin.  Appreciate your date’s good side, but acknowledge her weaknesses.  Just set deal breakers like when she lies to you or starts asking for money.  Don’t lie either.  You want her to fall for you—not the image you made her believe.

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Online dating is an interesting study of contrasts.  It gives shy types some leverage and equal opportunity with more self-assured guys.  At the same time, it can leave men clueless about online flirting since all we can count on is personality and knowing what words to say.  After all, online dating has higher communication requirements than a regular relationship does—no  to mention that communication is among the least of our proficiencies, second only to commitment.  What’s a nice guy who’s just looking for his dream girl to do? Make these online dating techniques work for you.

Online dating techniques for dummies

First, you have to understand that women have a certain idea about the right online dating flirting stages.  Typically, your e-love connection should follow this progression: messaging or e-mail, live chat, phone calls and text messaging, then a face-to-face date.  If you rush in to meet right after the first few messages, she’ll most likely think it’s just a booty call for you.  At the same time, taking too long to move on the next stage makes you appear too casual or worse, she’d think that you’re a cheat.

Online dating flirting tips that work

Relax.  Worrying too much about pleasing her and getting a second helping will keep you from being upbeat and engaging.  Online flirting should be fun! Women like witty and funny guys, but hold your green jokes in check until you’re really close that she’ll probably have decided you’re not a pervert.

Be confident but don’t be cocky.  Give sincere compliments and thank her whenever you receive one.  No matter what you do, don’t go to the extremes.  Being condescending or self-pitying are the biggest turnoffs especially to women.  Be a good listener, and it’ll work well for both of you.

Don’t lie.  Effective virtual flirts don’t cook up stories, because they don’t want to create a false image that they can’t live up to.  A little white lie can ruin it for you, since women believe that someone who can get away with a little fib will get away with anything.

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If you think taking online dating precautions is too feminine, don’t say you haven’t been forewarned.  Dating online is a hit among singles because the Internet isn’t exclusive, giving you endless choices and possibilities.  Unfortunately, it also allows access to psychos, perverts, and con artists which, sad to say, aren’t limited by sexual orientation.  Men can’t be too manly for online dating safety.

Online dating precautions to protect your identity

Honesty is a must in any relationship, but don’t be too eager to swap personal information right away.  With identity theft and stalking getting rampant on the Internet, it’s better to be safe than sorry.  Try using a “blind e-mail address,” one which you use only for online dating.  Well, you just don’t know what a hacker masquerading as your date can do.  Wait until you feel she can be trusted before you get a bit personal.  Lucky for you, you’re a man, and you’re expected to make the first call—meaning, she shouldn’t be asking you for your number until that happens.  Tell potential dates what you do, but don’t tell them exactly which company you work for or which building it’s located.  If she insists that you give her your home phone number and address right away, she’s either bullying you into a relationship or she probably has a hidden agenda.  Either way, it’s not good for you.

Online dating safety for your wallet

If you come across an online date who’s constantly dropping hints about money issues, you should hear the alarm bell ringing.  It’s natural for women to talk about what seems to be their innate love for shopping, but if the conversation begins to sound more like credit talk, you should consider that as a warning.  Balk if somebody says that she’s “a little strapped for cash,” and she couldn’t think of anyone else to run to for help but you.  She’s making an appeal to the knight-in-shining-armor in you, but what she really needs is a sugar daddy.

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You’ve been dating online for weeks now, and all the advice on online dating just don’t seem to work for you.  Don’t give up just yet.  Online dating takes a lot of patience, and it can be a little frustrating sometimes.  You’ve posted that smashing profile and flashed that killer smile on your photo, just as they said you should.  Still, your search remains unsuccessful.  What’s wrong with you? Nothing.  You just have the wrong sources, that’s all.  Here are online dating tips straight from the horse’s, er, filly’s mouth.

Some female advice on understanding what women want

Guys are competitive—what with this sports mania—but don’t take dating as just another competition you have to win.  Sure, everybody loves a winner, just as long as you don’t treat girls like a prize you want to take home.  Forget that old myth about women saying one thing and implying another.  That’s so last season! When women tell you they’re not ready to meet yet, that just means they’re not ready.  They’re not saying, “Try a little harder, please.” If they like you, you’ll know it.  Women date online for both fun and a possible long-term relationship.  If you see online dating as just the new booty call, don’t waste a woman’s time.

Dating advice for men from women

Confidence sure is sexy.  But please don’t deal with women as if you’re some Greek god.  You don’t have to try too hard to please the girls.  All ladies want to be with a real person even when they do daydream about George Clooney sometimes.  And never lie to the ladies.  They’ll find out, anyway.  If there’s one area that the ladies want you to exceed their expectations, that’d be honesty.  It’s a win-win situation.  You wouldn’t want the ladies to fall for an image that you won’t be able to fill.  Talk to your date about stuff that really interests you—not what you think would interest her.  It would be nice if a girl meets a guy who’s funny and witty, but please know when to be serious during a conversation.  Don’t stress too much about finding the right girl; when she comes your way, things will fall exactly into place.You’ve been dating online for weeks now, and all the advice on online dating just don’t seem to work for you.  Don’t give up just yet.  Online dating takes a lot of patience, and it can be a little frustrating sometimes.  You’ve posted that smashing profile and flashed that killer smile on your photo, just as they said you should.  Still, your search remains unsuccessful.  What’s wrong with you? Nothing.  You just have the wrong sources, that’s all.  Here are online dating tips straight from the horse’s, er, filly’s mouth.

Some female advice on understanding what women want

Guys are competitive—what with this sports mania—but don’t take dating as just another competition you have to win.  Sure, everybody loves a winner, just as long as you don’t treat girls like a prize you want to take home.  Forget that old myth about women saying one thing and implying another.  That’s so last season! When women tell you they’re not ready to meet yet, that just means they’re not ready.  They’re not saying, “Try a little harder, please.” If they like you, you’ll know it.  Women date online for both fun and a possible long-term relationship.  If you see online dating as just the new booty call, don’t waste a woman’s time.

Dating advice for men from women

Confidence sure is sexy.  But please don’t deal with women as if you’re some Greek god.  You don’t have to try too hard to please the girls.  All ladies want to be with a real person even when they do daydream about George Clooney sometimes.  And never lie to the ladies.  They’ll find out, anyway.  If there’s one area that the ladies want you to exceed their expectations, that’d be honesty.  It’s a win-win situation.  You wouldn’t want the ladies to fall for an image that you won’t be able to fill.  Talk to your date about stuff that really interests you—not what you think would interest her.  It would be nice if a girl meets a guy who’s funny and witty, but please know when to be serious during a conversation.  Don’t stress too much about finding the right girl; when she comes your way, things will fall exactly into place.

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Being male and single doesn’t bring you the same stigma that your female counterparts usually suffer from society.  Although most men celebrate having the single life, it sure can get tiring and lonely sometimes.  Whether you’re a bachelor waiting for the perfect match that’ll make you kiss that “single man looking” status goodbye or someone who wants a little more social action, online dating could be your thing.  All it takes for your social life to take off is a computer, Internet access, a positive attitude, and a little help from this bachelor dating guide.

Single man looking for Ms. Right

The search for Ms. Right starts from choosing the right site.  The Internet is crawling with dating sites, with choices ranging from hobby-related sites to those catering to specific religious orientations.  If you have exotic taste, there are dating sites serving a hodgepodge of nationalities and cultures.  There are even sites where “single man looking for single man” is cosmopolitan.  The best thing about online dating is that it doesn’t consume too much time, energy, and money.  A few bucks and a couple of mouse clicks will lead you to a smorgasbord of women’s profiles.  Since men are more visual than women, you’d probably be too caught up eyeballing profile photos, while the ladies pretty much judge you by your profile.  So make sure yours stands out from the rest—without writing in any falsies, of course.

What to do when “woman looking for single man” finds you

In online dating, it’s customary for men to make the first move, but being at the receiving end of a virtual flirt is not uncommon.  Either way, be nice and proper (down, boy, down), unless you want to risk being tagged as a jerk, a pervert, or desperado.  Even if the girl doesn’t seem right for you, be the nice guy.  Who knows? She could be friends with Ms.  Right and might put in a good word for you.  The key to online dating success is honesty and patience, so focus on your goal and you won’t be “the single guy” for long.

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Women may say they’re just looking for a nice guy, and that’s true, but they don’t tell you this: it wouldn’t hurt if Mr. Nice Guy happens to know how to strut his stuff without being overbearing.  Ever wonder why women end up falling for the wrong men sometimes? It’s because these guys usually have that devil-may-care attitude that women find so exciting, if not endearing.  Ironic? Nah, it’s just a girl thing.  Now, you don’t have to be a bad guy to get the girl.  You don’t even need special online dating techniques.  If you’re absolutely clueless about dating women online, there are simple—and often overlooked—things you should know about online flirting.

Make online dating easy by finding the right site.

Sometimes—and let your ego breathe that sigh of relief—the success or failure of your online search for Ms. Right can’t be based solely on your looks and personality.  It could just be a matter of being in the wrong dating site.  Before you plunge into cyberdating, compare dating sites the way you would do a feasibility study for a business plan.  Choose the most popular sites for greater variety, but if you want to limit your search to a particular aspect, like religion, then you can opt for Christian dating sites, for instance.

Online dating flirting isn’t a contest in cockiness.

Making online dating easy takes courage.  In the tradition of cave men, sans hair-pulling antics, it’s the guys who naturally—and are expected to—make the first move.  Unless—or even if—you look like Brad Pitt, don’t come on too strong.  Avoid lines like, “Your profile caught my attention.  You should feel like you just won the online dating lottery.” While confidence turns on women, cheekiness doesn’t.  Otherwise, just pry your foot out of your mouth and kick yourself.  While wit is important throughout the online dating flirting stage, it also tells a potential date about the kind of person you are.

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When online dating first became a hit, it sure didn’t take long before a swarm of cheats, “dirty old men,” and psychos flocked to Internet dating sites.  Thanks to them, online dating got a bad rep.  It didn’t help that some matchmaking sites sparked controversies by featuring mail-order-brides.  Not only did online dating become a turnoff among women, but some guys also had to lay low on looking for love on the Internet for a while.

The good news is that online dating has recently experienced a revival courtesy.  With people growing lonely, online dating is at its peak again by reinventing itself into social networks.  For those who still have their jobs, there’s online speed dating.  Now, the Internet dating population is more diverse, so it’s not true that the nice guys don’t try dating online.  Even if it doesn’t lead to a romantic relationship, online dating can give your social life a much-needed boost.

Guys dating online don’t get so worn out trying to find Ms. Right.

The dating scene can drain you of energy and money, not to mention the time you have to spend waiting for your date whose personal mission is to be fashionably late.  Online dating helps streamline your search for your dream girl by making profiles viewable for just a few bucks, and sometimes even for free.  As we do much of our transactions over the Internet, how difficult would it be to give online dating a try?

The nice guys don’t always finish last.

One thing that’s great about online dating is that good men who are sometimes too shy to approach women face-to-face get to feel more comfortable doing so over the Internet.  If this sounds like you, all you have to do is sign up for membership to the most popular dating sites.  Whip up a winning (and real) profile, and post your latest photo.  Be patient and responsive.  You might be surprised how much fun it is. Even if you don’t find Ms. Right immediately, you could bump into people with whom you can build lasting friendships.

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